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Posted 4 entries to youtube recently

Mar. 19th, 2011 | 02:15 pm

Dear people who visit my livejournal site,

I've recently made 4 posts on youtube under my username MDBowron

First entry is called Abortion - The Third Topic (better sound), which takes a look at the two points of view on Abortion (Pro-Life and Pro-Choice) and tries to find a way to make both sides happy.

Second entry is called Physics - CLassical and Quantum Combined, which takes a look at the two main fields of physics (Classical/Newtonian/Einsteinian Physics and Quantum Phyics/Mechanics) and finds a situation which may link the two together.
Third entry is called Obesity - Beauty, Genetics and Choice, which states that prehistoric views about obesity and beauty were quite different than it is today, and that without people, who were genetically prone to becoming obese later in history, we wouldn't be here. 

The fourth entry is called Genesis and Evolution - 2 sides of the same story, which takes a look at the two views of history, Scientific Evolution and Religious Creation, and says how through a certain analysis these may actually be more similar than previously realised.  

I would much appreciate it if you viewed it and gave me your opinions.

Yours sincerely

Matt Bowron (MD Bowron)

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I've been diagnosed with having schizophrenia

Jun. 21st, 2010 | 07:04 pm

which really pisses me off

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My conversation with God # 3: Cluttering things up again

Jan. 25th, 2010 | 07:24 pm

Ok this is Panick attack number 2 i’m writing about, and I’m calling on God to help me out





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My conversation with God # 2: Clearing things up

Jan. 25th, 2010 | 10:23 am

Hi God



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My conversation with God # 1: Getting to know one another

Jan. 24th, 2010 | 07:09 pm

Oh God help me.


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I got accepted into TAFE and I'm thinking about going back to writing

Jan. 21st, 2010 | 10:18 am

Hey all,

sorry for the long wait but I've been busy over the holidays helping family out and applying for TAFE, which I got into, yay. It's a library technician course, which could be a good job, sorta like my video store job only it would be about books as well as dvds, videos, tapes and cds.

I've also been thinking of going back to my writing of my story.

I'm still thinking of writing Namuh Htrae in the nine stages as I originally mentioned, this time writing about a trio of characters living through their lives, which is also the life of a civilization from beginning to end. The cycle of civilization stands for samsara, our repeated cycles of life that we think we get stuck into because of some of us not having learned the experience of life, while the progress from egocentric to kosmocentric stages stands for the rise to nirvana, where one can transcend this cycle of life and become one with infinity. Pardon if this sounds sorta hippyish or whatever, but I still want to do this and I've been thinking about it a lot, trying to still write the first page after six years of thinking about it. (sigh) Anyways, I'm turning 25 in a few weeks, so all hell's broken loose. I now am no longer considered a dependent on my parents, and so I have to get health cover, but this means I could finally be able to apply for study allowance from Centrelink, our welfare office here in Australia as I'm still currently unemployed.

To all of my friends I wish the best, happy birthdays and all and apologies for the lateness of my reply. I hope to chat to you all eventually when we're all online.

Yours sincerely

Matt Bowron (namuhhtrae)

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FOr those of you having a shitty day (humour)

Dec. 14th, 2009 | 06:22 pm

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i have a community

Dec. 10th, 2009 | 11:03 am

it's called nine_chakras

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why i hate panick attacks

Dec. 6th, 2009 | 09:41 pm

you can't think straight, you think for a moment that you've gone crazy, you feel everything's a threat and that its coming to get you because you feel you've fucked up in a way so badly that you'll never be forgiven. You go tense, your breathing's so shallow you feel like you might pass out or hold your breath and never breathe again, you feel your heart crush inside your chest and you wonder as if you'll ever feel normal again. You don't even want to write this because you feel that what you're carrying inside is like an infection, an infection of panick, an infection of insanity that can spread through others merely picking up on how you're feeling. You want to not exist, you want to find a gun and shoot yourself because you hate feeling like this and want it to be over now. The problem is how would that affect others you love, would it make them love you more or hate you? And why is this here? Because I met some girl who I thought I could fall in love with, but I can't even talk to because I fear she'll see me and freak at the freak I've become. I fear I hear others talking about me, that I'm what others are whispering about outside. I fear for my own safety as well as my own sanity. I fear myself, and what I'm capable of. That I'll fly off the handle and just start attacking everyone because I can't stand to be around them when I'm like this. I hate myself and I hate the world. And this is from dissociation, the feeling of splitting off from yourself and feeling that you're outside yourself and will never forgive yourself again. You feel like you've become the untouchable, the unlovable, and you utterly hate the fact that its only you who's putting yourself through this. You can't handle such simple terms as I, me, myself, you, and so you break into second person because you're trying to get hold of a situation you can't think straight, when you know that this confrontation is the last thing you want. You want to curl up into a ball and die right then and there, and you feel that no one anywhere will be able to help you. I hate myself for writing this. Who is this me? Where did he come from? What is he doing? And what will he do now? I am a stranger to myself, alienated from myself, a stranger in a strange land, an alien lost to the fears of his own mind and nothing now will do anything. They say you attract everything to yourself, that you only create this upon yourself. Well I thought I would have a panick attack and look where I am. For those of you who read, don't put yourself through this. It's not worth the effort, all your own self criticizing will give you ill fortune and bad habits, such as self criticism and lack of self worth, which is what I'm going through. So, stranger, is it me or is it people in general that I/me/myself/you are talking to? Or is this merely the diaries of a madman attempting to grasp for one final piece of salvation? I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. I want this to stop, I want to feel better, I want none of this to happen again to myself or anyone else. I,I,I, Me,Me,Me, Now,Now,Now, as Captain Hook said in Hook. And here I am lost in my own tauntings, unable to escape my own bitter punishment of myself for no good reason at all. I pray to God that he finds me and rescues me from this world before I do something I might regret. I'm sorry if I've caused any of you harm through writing this, and for now, goodbye.

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writing prompt from line by line

Nov. 30th, 2009 | 05:32 pm

from here to there
any and no where
should i seem to damn
or should i seem to care

two things, duality
complexity and simplicity,
whether its the past or the future
it's all our history,

good and evil
the tree of knowledge
should I drop out of school
or should I go to college?

what our choices?
do we know what our decision is?
am i holding it together
or merely shattering it into pieces?

fear or love?
am I going below or above?
am I a bird of prey
Or make peace like the dove?

Who do we want to be?
Who is this soul who's me?
What do you declare
When you are neither from here nor there?

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