namuhhtrae

FOr those of you having a shitty day (humour)

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 10:22:25 GMT

TAOISM: "If you understand shit, it isn't shit."

HINDUISM: "This shit happened before"

CONFUCIANISM: "confucius say 'shit happens'"

BUDDHISM: "Shit will happen to you again"

ZEN: "What is the sound of shit happening?"

ISLAM: "If shit happens it is the will of Allah"

SIKHISM: "Leave our shit alone"

JEHOVA'S WITNESS: "Knock knock, shit happens"

ATHIESM: "I don't believe this shit"

AGNOSTICISM: "Can you proove that shit happens?"

CATHOLICISM: "If shit happens you deserve it"

PROTESTANTISM: "Shit happens, amen to that"

JUDAISM: "Why does shit always happen to us?"

ORTHODOX JUDAISM: "So whit happens, already"

TELEVANGELISM: "Send money or shit will happen to you."

RASTAFARIANISM: "Let's smoke this shit"

HARE KRISHNA: "Shit happens rama rama"

NATION OF ISLAM: "Don't take no shit"

NEW AGE: "Visualise shit happening"

SHINTOISM: "You inherit the shit of your ancestors"

HEDONISM: "I love it when shit happens"

SATANISM: "sneppaH tihS"

CAPITALISM: "This is MY shit"

FEMINISM: "Men are shit"

EXISTENTIALISM: "What is shit, anyway?"

SCIENTOLOGY: "If shit happens, see Dianetics p.137"

MORMONISM: "Excrement happens" (don't say shit)

BAPTISM: "We'll wash the shit right off you"

MYSTICISM: "This is really weird shit"

VOODOO: "Shit doesn't just happen - we make it happen"

DISNEYISM: "Bad shit doesn't happen here"

WICCA: "You can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times"

COMMUNISM: "Let's share the shit"

MARXISM: "You have nothing to lose but your shit"

CONSPIRACY THEORISM: "THEY shit on us!"

PSYCHO-ANALYSIS: "Tell me about your shit"

DARWINISM: "Survival of the shittiest"

AMISH: "Modern shit is useless"

SUICIDAL: "I've had enough of this shit"

OPTIMISM: "Shit won't happen to me"

TREKKISM: "To boldly shit where no one has shit before"

SHAKESPEARIANISM: "To shit or not to shit, that is the question"

DESCARTES: "I shit therefore I am"

FREUD: "Shit is a phallic symbol"

LAWYERS: "For enough money, I can get you out of shit"

ACUPUNCTURIST: "Hold still or this will hurt like shit"

DOG: "I just shit in your shoe"

CAT: "Dogs are shit"

MOUSE: "Oh shit! a cat!"

POLITICALLY CORRECT: "internally processed nutritionally-drained biological output happens"

EINSTEIN: "Shit is relative"

FAMILY GATHERING: "Relatives are shit"

MATERIALISM: "Whoever dies with the most shit wins"

VEGETARIANISM: "If it happens to shit, don't eat it"

FATALISM: "Oh shit, it's going to happen"

ENVIRONMENTALISM: "Shit is biodegradable"

AMERICANISM: "Who gives a shit?"

STATICIANISM: "shit is 87.5% likely to happen"

HIP-HOP: "motherfuck this shiznit beatch"

TANTRISM: "fuck this shit"

CYNICISM: "We are all full of shit"

SURREALISM: "fish happens"

LAW OF ATTRACTION: "You attract shit happening by shitty thinking"

BAHAI: "Shit happens at each particular age and time"

BAHAI: "Let our shit happen in unity"

i have a community

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 03:03:30 GMT

it's called nine_chakras

why i hate panick attacks

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 13:40:59 GMT

you can't think straight, you think for a moment that you've gone crazy, you feel everything's a threat and that its coming to get you because you feel you've fucked up in a way so badly that you'll never be forgiven. You go tense, your breathing's so shallow you feel like you might pass out or hold your breath and never breathe again, you feel your heart crush inside your chest and you wonder as if you'll ever feel normal again. You don't even want to write this because you feel that what you're carrying inside is like an infection, an infection of panick, an infection of insanity that can spread through others merely picking up on how you're feeling. You want to not exist, you want to find a gun and shoot yourself because you hate feeling like this and want it to be over now. The problem is how would that affect others you love, would it make them love you more or hate you? And why is this here? Because I met some girl who I thought I could fall in love with, but I can't even talk to because I fear she'll see me and freak at the freak I've become. I fear I hear others talking about me, that I'm what others are whispering about outside. I fear for my own safety as well as my own sanity. I fear myself, and what I'm capable of. That I'll fly off the handle and just start attacking everyone because I can't stand to be around them when I'm like this. I hate myself and I hate the world. And this is from dissociation, the feeling of splitting off from yourself and feeling that you're outside yourself and will never forgive yourself again. You feel like you've become the untouchable, the unlovable, and you utterly hate the fact that its only you who's putting yourself through this. You can't handle such simple terms as I, me, myself, you, and so you break into second person because you're trying to get hold of a situation you can't think straight, when you know that this confrontation is the last thing you want. You want to curl up into a ball and die right then and there, and you feel that no one anywhere will be able to help you. I hate myself for writing this. Who is this me? Where did he come from? What is he doing? And what will he do now? I am a stranger to myself, alienated from myself, a stranger in a strange land, an alien lost to the fears of his own mind and nothing now will do anything. They say you attract everything to yourself, that you only create this upon yourself. Well I thought I would have a panick attack and look where I am. For those of you who read, don't put yourself through this. It's not worth the effort, all your own self criticizing will give you ill fortune and bad habits, such as self criticism and lack of self worth, which is what I'm going through. So, stranger, is it me or is it people in general that I/me/myself/you are talking to? Or is this merely the diaries of a madman attempting to grasp for one final piece of salvation? I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. I want this to stop, I want to feel better, I want none of this to happen again to myself or anyone else. I,I,I, Me,Me,Me, Now,Now,Now, as Captain Hook said in Hook. And here I am lost in my own tauntings, unable to escape my own bitter punishment of myself for no good reason at all. I pray to God that he finds me and rescues me from this world before I do something I might regret. I'm sorry if I've caused any of you harm through writing this, and for now, goodbye.

writing prompt from line by line

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 09:32:46 GMT

from here to there
any and no where
should i seem to damn
or should i seem to care

two things, duality
complexity and simplicity,
whether its the past or the future
it's all our history,

good and evil
the tree of knowledge
should I drop out of school
or should I go to college?

what our choices?
do we know what our decision is?
am i holding it together
or merely shattering it into pieces?

fear or love?
am I going below or above?
am I a bird of prey
Or make peace like the dove?

Who do we want to be?
Who is this soul who's me?
What do you declare
When you are neither from here nor there?

psychic or psycho?

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 08:23:29 GMT

i guess that's the difficulty about today's modern world when it comes to spirituality these days.

On one half you have the traditional side which believes in there being a spiritual world, a world of mental existing above the physical, which creates things, which we can connect with.

And on the other half you have the scientific view which views everything as being physical, and the ideas of spirituality as being merely an extension or psychological projection of mind onto non-thinking things.

As some of you may know, I consider myself to be spiritual, but I have also the case of wondering if maybe my spiritual experiences are simply psychological which could be just a manifestation of my own imagination.

I believe I've 'seen' images when I think about people in my mind's eye. I also believe that the indeterminate world of physics could also be organized by certain principles which could be considered an analogy or an analogue of consciousness. The thing is of course making it hard to determine about whether I'm just imagining these things.

I believe I have a spiritual guide, a brown haired female self called Amanda who just wants me to go out there and have fun and enjoy the game of life. But I don't know if that is merely a projection of my own feminine way of thinking and my own innermost desires merely put forth.

How is one to get their head around this?

Any suggestions?

I feel like such a shit

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 05:01:38 GMT

I made a mistake today
I made someone who was in an already fragile state worse and I hate myself for it.
It was a fucking mistake, scuse my french, I wanted to write something saying someone like them was loved and cared for and understood by someone who knew what they did, which was cutting. Not loving them because of cutting, loving as in supporting them through the hard times. I triggered it and I feel like a total shit.
Thing is I've felt like cutting before.
But for me its not to make myself feel better, unless you consider killing yourself a way of making yourself feel better.
I've already posted about panick attack levels, right now I'm level 2, dropping to depression and thoughts of just deleting myself out of LJ before I do too much damage. It's times like this I wish I was psychic, so I could tell what was right to post and what not to. I know I'll probably make them feel worse if they read this, and would probably draw to them unwanted attention. But I guess I wanted to give them the feeling that someone out there would care for them and love them and support them through the hard times. Not me, but someone close to them at least. It's not that its their fault for not seeing it. It's my fault for not thinking clearly before posting. I only hope they can forgive me.
I just wish there was some way to undo what I have done.

The Seven Levels of Hell: or stages of intensity to a panick attack

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 07:54:55 GMT

I have personally gone through all 7 stages of a panick attack, going from very low anxiety to the worse that can be described as almost psychotic anxiety to suicidal anxiety.

The stages I'm writing down as 7 with 0 being normal and 7 being the worst imaginable. But based on my personal experience I think it's based around for me. Others may have similar reasons but this list I feel is important for others to know about.

The stages are as follows:

0: Normal: One is self aware in the moment. Any anxiety up here would be random based on events that happen to you outside your control.

1: Aware and Nervous Separation: You now notice your self-awareness with an increased feeling of separation as you think of yourself as panicking in a noticable way. Low level of anxiety felt in the backgruond.

2: Increased separation and pressure building: This separation makes you feel pressure from everyone around you watching you, judging you and making you feel judged, scrutinized, or feeling bad, just because you're panicking. Strong background anxiety.

3: Paranoia and memory guilt trip: You become paranoid, beginning to imagine there aer people watching and judging you. All bad memories of mistakes you have made and thought are dredged up and you feel terrible. Very strong background anxiety.

4: Dissociation: Unable to take on the pressure you begin to dissociate and see yourself outside your body. You now feel that you are splitting away from your reality and are now beginning to go crazy. THis is extreme anxiety.

5: High fear and anger stage: You scream at everyone to go away from you, even if there's noone there in the room. You want to run away and hide under your bed and not be seen by anyone. This is suffering level anxiety.

6: It doesn't stop: And nothing you seem to do seems to stop it. You get really anxious thinking you'll never be the same again, and that you'll go insane. You can't sleep at night. Dangerous Anxiety.

7: Suicidal Risk: You want to escape from this, but no medicine works, you can't sleep, and you want the pain to stop. You feel humiliated from your guilt trip and no longer want to be alive. Most people here at this stage could commit suicide. Most dangerous anxiety.

I have been through all of these, and I was wondering if others had been through similar stages?

I'm now on Skype

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 09:00:37 GMT

under matthew.david.bowron

My Panick Attack Rant

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 10:46:44 GMT

LJ Cut for length

Everybody has to deal with fear one day or another.
I know I do.
What happens when you live in fear?
What happens when you become the one who you’re afraid of?
You become me.
My name is Matthew.
This feels like a confession, and yet every time I put my hand to type across the keyboard I feel as if there is something watching over me, scruitinizing me up close and personal, like a doctor with a medical kit, pointing his medical tools right at my face, stethoscope, everything.
Sometimes the feeling is overwhelming.
They say go outside of your mind and you go insane.
Sometimes that’s how it feels.
You hear voices.
You hear people calling out your name over and over as if some line from a movie.
Every noise feels like its creeping closer and closer towards you.
I seize up.
I feel like shutting my eyes, I even see myself shutting them, and with every moment I see myself shutting my eyes, everything feels the more horrible.
I feel panic, its a feeling that I shouldn’t be here, that this isn’t the life I should be living.
What life do you want to live, when it doesn’t seem worth living?
You feel like living no life at all.
So this is a call out to god, or to whomever is up there listening, intervene on me.
Stop this from happening to me, I fear that I’m going outside of my mind.
And yet I’m afraid that if I hear a voice I know I’ll truely have gone mad.
A car door opens, is it men in white suits coming to get me?
I hear my father’s voice, my mother’s voice, my sister’s voice, and hear the constant squeaking of the table as I sit there typing, thinking that some godforsaken thing is trying to torment me.
A car passes by the road.
I hear another car door opening or closing.
Another car passes.
The gang’s all here, so it seems, all driving by. Driving me crazy.
Christ I can’t even look at the stuff I’m writing.
It all seems like the work of a madman.
Maybe I am one in this state of mind.
How do you describe yourself at this moment?
Afraid. Afraid of every movement, of every sound being some critical thing against me.
Paranoid. Sometimes I think the paranoia is just a given, given the state of which I put myself in through the periods of bullying and constant fear.
I fear I’ve heard someone knocking at the door.
A man in a derby fedora hat I picture, with glasses, a man coming to take me away.
“Mrs Bowron I have a warrant for your son’s arrest.” Or something along those lines.
What are the things that led to this?
Merely the assumption that no matter where I would go in the world, I would always be alone.
Unwanted, unloved, unable to commit to any relationship.
I hear the voice of Luba, a lady I once knew, and felt fond towards, but I know she hates me now.
At least I think she does.
That’s the problem with thinking like this, you don’t know which emotions to trust.
You feel like the odd one out, always having to look over your shoulder.
Sometimes I think I’m just broadcasting these words for all to hear.
For all to listen in. Listen in to the Matthew Man, everyone get a laugh.
Christ, why do I put myself through this?
Why? I seem to answer myself. Because I feel like shit.
I feel like the lowest bug imaginable, like I’m the biggest goddamn burden on the face of the planet.
I hear voices outside and wonder what they are.
People, I guess. People probably not having anything to do with me.
Then why do I hear their voices? Why do I feel like I sense myself among them?
Because for one brief moment, one moment of time, I am among them.
I feel a witness, a witness to everything that every noise seems to focus around upon for a moment.
That I’m attracting all noise, all attention to myself and in reality I don’t want this. Any of it.
The attention, the fame, the publicity if that’s what you’ll call it is all too much.
I hear more cars passing, and I think of kids from the 50s, tough kids who’d break open your mailbox with a baseball bat cruising around, looking for my head to lop off.
I hear other noises, the door tapping downstairs, or something tapping wood on wood.
I feel embarrassed for even writing the word wood, and feel as if I’ve done something wrong.
The sensation is intense, like my senses are on full alert, and I feel as if I’m freaking out.
I hear the pigeons make noises and wonder if that’s because of me.
Is everything because of me?
Does everything exist because I exist?
Am I the unwanted center of it all?
That’s how I feel, like a center that’s trying to be ground out of existence.
“Right out of existence,” as Chanci Gardiner once put it in Being There.
I hear a dog bark, and I wonder if it senses what I’m feeling.
I hear what sounds like a plane going overhead and I feel myself flinch.
I don’t even want to write any of this, and yet I feel a compulsion to confess everything that’s happening to me.
It’s an experience unlike any other, best seats in town.
Yeah right.
I hear cars and I feel like screaming at them to go away.
I hear noises of people and I want to scream at them to scram, to mind their own business.
Thing is they already are, minding their own business, they don’t see that I exist.
Kids making noises, complaining to one another, causing each other problems.
I hear their strangled cries and feel as if I’m the one getting my head wrapped around and squeezed like a vice.
I imagine my father reading over my shoulder, reading all of this.
And I can’t help but think he just will shake his head in bitter disappointment.
This miserable son in front of him, and a miserable son at that.
Oh woe is me. Am I to be pitied, or am I some pity fool, as the African-american’s say, who shouldn’t be pitied at all.
I hear the squeaks of my movements on the table and it agonizes me.
I hear my mother down in the kitchen, or perhaps its my father, honestly I don’t know.
I wonder who it is that’s down there.
Four pages I’ve written so far and I feel like I’m on my last legs.
I feel still completely as if I’m being watched by someone just behind me.
I feel as if my father is behind me, my mother to my right and behind, complaining as I write this.
Maybe they will, when they read of me being in such a state.
Is it depressing to think of someone completely afraid of a billowing curtain as their real son?
Or is there really such a thing as unconditional love?
There was a long pause between the as and the unconditional love.
A large gap. I had to wait a while to think of it.
Do I really think I’m that far away from it?
To be honest, I really do.
I feel calmer, tired now, and wonder what’s happened of me.
I feel a quake tremor in my tendons near my left shoulder blade.
I hear the wind moving the curtain and I think that I’m not alone.
Things feel distant somehow. Maybe I’m just exhausted.
I feel a tiredness creep over me. My mother’s just come in.
Here’s what’s happened in the past few minutes.
My mother had a chat to me, thinking the day went well.
She didn’t understand when I told her it was about something about a film I just saw.
A feeling that what I was upset about was the fact that I’d always be alone.
I feel just depression now, still the heightened awareness.
She thought that I was too focussed in the future and not enough in the present.
I told her the present made me feel critical about myself.
That I was just critical about myself.
I still hear cars moving, but they annoy me now.
Mum’s saying listen to some grounding music, I’m trying to help you.
I just feel angry. Like she’s following me, a following hallucination.
I wish she’d just fuck off and leave me alone.
Now I feel exhausted from all this.
I imagined looking at a video of myself, shaven screaming into the camera.
“I WANT EVERYONE TO LEAVE ME ALONE, ESPECIALLY YOU!”
And the finger was pointed directly at me.
So I left myself and just felt exhausted for a while.
The squeaks are back as I write this, and they make me feel anxious inside.
Most of all now I feel exhausted, as if I’ve taken a break from myself.
I tried looking at myself from the outside, from beyond a point within my skull.
But even when doing that I can’t get calm, or haven’t at least yet.
I just zoomed out to the cosmos in my imagination, trying to get as far away as possible.
Then I zoomed in as far as I could, right into the quarks and leptons wiggling in my atoms.
I hear footsteps and think someone’s trying to sneak up on me.
Then I wonder if this is just the panic attack, or if I should do just something else.
I feel a lot more tired now, like this blanket of drowsiness has wrapped itself around me.
I feel the air on my face and it almost feels refreshing.
I feel as if I won’t be able to make contact with anyone again.
I look at myself and think of myself as something sad and pathetic.
And yet I still write, I’ve been trying to write for many years.
Write about how there are levels to our consciousness, to our very being.
That we create levels of awareness at every step of our lives.
From the beginning of our species to the end.
And that all this history, our political, our religious, our science, our social, could all be fitted within one book.
I am attempting the impossible.
How can I write about it, when I feel like I can’t even write about myself realistically.
I want to write about how we are all connected, when I don’t want to connect with anyone.
I feel I am a pathetic little worm who should be crushed beneath my own bootheel.
And yet I cannot help but feel a headache come on and tell me this is not the way it is.
My mind seems empty, a void bordered only by its shell.
I have come back to myself, but I feel a prisoner in my own skull.
The world closes in and I feel a tightening grip upon my heart.
Sometimes it feels as if my heart won’t beat very well.
Now I understand why so many people have heart attacks because of stress.
I still feel like I’m being watched from inside my own office.
Like every rustle of paper, every passing car is just that a thing, outside of me.
Is thus selfish to want to know the truth to things, when I don’t really know anything?
Or is the anything I don’t know of the simple truth.
If this is a game of realization, then it is a bitter one at that.
I don’t feel as if I’m god. Maybe I’m here to feel humble.
To feel like I really need to improve myself if I’m going to exist in this world.
I don’t make attempts at work, because I fear it’s too far away or will be boring or something.
Or just a lot of effort, which just pisses me off in general.
A world where I’m merely a cog in a machine, pushed around by the world.
And yet here I sit, and here I float seemingly pushed only by the breeze and my own pain.
The problem is I think too much of myself. I think I’ll be that all important know-it-all.
When in reality, all I can truly say is that I know nothing, and it scares me.
The unknown, has always scared me.
It was the unknown that held all the demons, all the potential bullies and attackers.
All the scorned women who wanted to hate me, all the useless victims I feel like writing.
I feel a bewitching coming on, and my mind seems to haze towards the interior.
Or is it inferior? My mind is warping, perhaps by the second Ativan I took today.
Things seem to me like a mixture between a film noir novel, like Sin City.
And something that seems in a sense inherently tragic and sad and forlorn.
Something that maybe a jazz musician or saxophonist would play to.
And yet here I am sitting, sad and melancholy, and I am alone.
And yet I am not alone, I am surrounded by the world.
And yet within that world all I sense is its surroundingness.
There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
I don’t want them to skin me alive.
My mind wanders and thinks of cavemen dressed in skins and heads of dead creatures.
Painted in war-paint, holding staffs jingling bones, walking through an arctic wasteland.
Walking through ploughs of snow on some jagged peak, through snowdrifts all around them.
They walk on dragging their sleighs of rope and wood bound and tied together.
Their faces are angered, teeth bared, eyes white slits surrounded by black mud paint.
They appear to me, straining and colourful like the images of a comic book or graphic novel.
The men appear as monsters, more than just regular men.
Beasts half-man, half-animal, trudging through snow, looking for a cave to dwell or to hunt.
Their minds are empty, save their only desire for food that drives them forward.
Things are only minor, a dog pulling against a leash, another man complaining, the soft snow.
The probability of dropping into a hole and being swallowed up, unable to get out passes their mind.
Their skin is taut, tendons, muscles and bones stretched over with skin.
Pale, sometimes tan against the brilliant white of the snowscape around them.
Atop the head of one is the skull of a jackal, its jawbone stretched up over his own scalp.
Held down by a piece of skin tied down towards his jerkin, which stretches across his broad chest.
Now I’m stylizing it, making him look like some creature from an anime.
An immense, white-eyed beast-man who lived around 14,000 years ago or maybe longer.
I don’t want to look at my previous pages, for fears they’ll stir back the feelings I had before.
All I feel now is tired, no longer panicky, just a loner writing beside his computer.
I feel sad, depressed.
I look at my wrists and I see the tiny cut on my right wrist.
I thought it would bleed out like a severed artery.
The image of the suicidal, watching themselves bleed to death.
All I can think of is a round headed white person, eyes forlorn and sad, watching their blood flow.
Drawn like an anime, a ghostly figure against a blood red background with a full moon.
I call it “The Lunatic”.
Originally it’s a girl who’s committing suicide, one of those wide-eyed animes from Asia.
But paint the hair black, put some glasses on it and it’s a boy killing himself.
Not that I wear glasses, but I thought it looked like a stylish image.
Inch thin wrists able to be held around by a forefinger and thumb.
I can do that to myself even.
Maybe this is a confession.
Reminds me of the Number 23, the guy who writes a suicide note, only to create a novel instead.
A novel he finishes, then commits suicide, forgets he did it, and reads the book decades later.
Only to realize that he wrote it in the end, telling him waht he was, a murderer.
I’m not a murderer.
I haven’t killed anyone in my life.
The closest thing I’ve killed is maybe ants or a cockroach.
I’ve written about murder though, in my first ever novel.
But I didn’t decide to publish it. It was too weak for me.
I could try to write something that I wrote before, but would it really be me?
It would be like writing a game, a game that made no sense at all.
A game merely played for the mere indulgence of playing it.
Oddly enough not too different from the game our souls are meant to play.
Conversations with God, Jerry and Esther Hick’s Abraham series, the book The Game of God by Arthur H-something.

writing difficulties 2 - the long awaited sequel

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 01:37:24 GMT

I've decided to put my writing on haitus for the time being. It's not that I don't have ideas. The story of a person who's stages of life mark also the stages of development of one cycle of civilization, from scavenger hunting through to posthuman world government. One of my oldest ideas was to just write a story about a person and show the world around them slowly changing as technology changed and developed and as their own culture grew and altered over the periods of change. I also wanted to have the cycle of one life also be a period where people were feeling near suicidal based on their struggling to exist and survive in the foraging times, to a feeling of posthuman enlightenment where one could upload one's consciousness to the universe and become one with it. That idea still intrigues me, but what confuses me is how to set it out. Do I just set it out like a biography and write each chapter of the two main character's lives as they go through these stages, or do I try to do something else? The old idea of a biography of a person or two people in the case of this story, that mirror the life of a civilization still intrigues me, the only thing I worry about is if its original enough, or if I should try something else.

Storywriting difficulties

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 10:12:37 GMT

I'm having now again problems with starting my story.

I know I've asked the question before if my story is original, and I don't expect people to give me answers right away.

I just know that I haven't read a book that uses Spiral Dynamics and Progressive Revelation and Developmental Psychology connected to the History of the World before. If I'm able to write said book is the question I would like to answer.

The only problem is there's a lot of worldbuilding that needs to take place, as in a lot.

The first story is based around the idea of beige, of people who are basically on the brink of extinction, think the apes in 2001, fighting amongst one another, living in very small groups, often on their own, fighting to survive in a world of drought, perhaps brought on by an ice age. It is here that man is a scavenger, eating small animals, roots, tubers, and sometimes meat off stolen carcasses. They're more like homo habilis or homo erectus than homo sapiens, not that they've changed in appearance.

The question that I have to ask is, is a story about the survival of a couple on the edge of extinction an interesting story?

Stories of couples trying to survive after a cataclysm have been done before. Take The Road by Cormack McCarthy for instance. A boy and his father are surviving what seems like a nuclear winter, struggling to find food and people in a post-apocalyptic america. It was a best-seller just in how it wrote about the basic story in the way it was told. Thus could that mean my story of 'beige' be as good?

This is a question I leave to you to comment on. The idea is to bring it into either a savannah like land, leading up to a post-apocalyptic city through the various interlinks with various wandering tribes.

Maybe I should just start it with the people facing extinction and just go from there.

I don't know, what do you think?

Contact info

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 13:51:54 GMT

If anyone from the public, livejournal or whereever wants to contact me regarding my story Namuh Htrae or any of my posts feel free to do so at my Windows Live Messenger at Matt_2019@msn.com

You can also contact me at my Myspace page at www.myspace.com/matthewbowron
Or you can search for me as Matthew Bowron on Facebook.

I'll be happy to make your acquaintance. :)

I have an intriguing idea ... collaborative stories.

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 07:25:39 GMT

I've been having trouble with creativity. It's not coming up with ideas that I have a problem with, it's about being creative enough to actually write a story that I think others will find interesting. Most of my ideas have been based around cerebral topics, but they also need conflict, something to get the ball rolling.

And I was thinking, that with so many few ideas being considered up for grabs, what if I made my story idea public, so that everyone could contribute their own stories based around this world I was making?

Basically this is the idea: the history of the world is cyclical, there are 9 periods of history that are each based around different beliefs.

Basically the nine stages are this:

1) beige: a post-apocalyptic world after the collapse of a civilization, where people are struggling to survive in this world finding food, shelter, people to mate with, etc, plus fighting any wild animals that may be out there as well. People express through simple words, but mostly bodily gestures, calls and actions.

2) purple: a hunter-gatherer world, think the film 10,000 BC, where jungle or nature in general has replaced the ruins of old civilization. People are no longer scavenging on their own but now live in tribes. The religion of these tribes is either animistic, shamanistic, paganistic or pantheistic. Basically they believe in spirit gods, respecting the elders of the tribe, being strong defenders of their people. People express through art and oral tales, perhaps poetry.

3: red: early agricultural world, think around ancient egypt 5000 to 3000BC, where warring kingdoms or empires are struggling with slaves, servants, and attempts of coups within the power hierarchy. Now they also have problems with famines, disease outbreaks. Most of these are polythiestic religions, believing in powerful gods ruling the heavens and earth. Wars are common here, and its more about ruling and being badass action. Think 300 style action or Troy. People express themselves through writing that is more symbolic, think hieroglyphs, pictoglyphs or chinese/japanese writing.

4: blue: monotheistic kingdom, think around greek-roman times to the middle ages. 1000 BC to 1300AD. Where obedience to the armies, and the one-god religion, is all important. Where there are laws, and people ensuring those laws are followed out to the letter. Persecutions, torture and sincere religious belief in an almighty saviour or one way. This is near totalitarian in its views. Think fascist germany, italy or spain, or communist russia, only medieval. Knights in round table, maidens and the beginning of courtly love. Crusades are commonplace also. The world here is expressed through script based writing, using pheonetic or letter based writing.

5: orange: merchantile-capitalist nation: think around 15th through to the 18th century, enlightenment. Scientific rational thinking, or golden era Islam or China. The age is about people competing in the marketplace, focusing on the individual and thier rights and priveliges. Wars against slavery, beginning of feminism, liberal democracies, independent nations. The scientific ways of thinking is expressed through printing.

6: green: communalistic -nations: think Marxism in the essential form in 19th century through 20th century. Rights of women, the second sex, civil rights, gay rights, independent nation rights, post-colonialism. Post-modernism, post-structuralism. All truths are equal. Relativism, beginning of relativity in science. Beginning of psychology and relationships. Community based religions such as Unitarian Christianity, Interfaith movement, Sikth faith and Bahai faith. The beginning of seeing different people's perspective through television.

7: yellow: integral network. Think psychological theories integrating the shadow self and the individual. Jung theory. Think of integral network in economics, game theory by Nash. Think beginning of integrating oneself with the environment. The environmental sustainability movement of the 1950s onwards. The beginning of thinking of oneself as existing within a hierachy of needs, Maslow, Erikson, Piaget. Or spiritually, such as 8 Dynamics in Scientology, or Holoarchy theory of Graves and Beck. The beginning of integrated society such as the internet and cell-phone network.

8: turquoise: holistic network. Think new age health movement, thinking of oneself as having to think of the whole body. Think of the beginning of communal consciousness, group meditation, and group thinking in belief systems. Spiritually this is Jedism, or What The Bleep Do We Know/Ramtha Group, or even Matrixism if you think man and machine needs to work together to make peace. This is the world of the present 21st century onwards, and the begining of communalistic sustainability, world peace with all religions and countries. World government could be achieved here.

9: coral: unitive thinking. Everything's one and no matter good or bad, we have everything we want so we no longer need civilization. Return to nature, return to simple life. Return to oneness with god. Eternal soul with nature. Think Darren Aaronofsky's The Fountain. Think eternal oneness, eternal happiness, eternal peace, eternal love. One is the universe thinking and expressing and thinking about itself. One is one with God or god incarnate. Think Law of Attraction, or COnversations with God.

There are two teams in the story that play throughout the world:

1) Taker: this is the masculine (not necessarily male) culture, that thinks it has to provide and protect the people of the world. Here it believes in progress through knowledge, that will lead to eventually peace and unity. However believing it has to provide and protect, it becomes obsessed with power, and the material needs that come with power. It thinks the world belongs to man, and thus we can do whatever we damn well please with it. It doesn't want separateness it wants unity, it doesn't want us to always express what we want, but to be obedient to the laws of society that want us to be perfect.

2) Leaver: this is the feminine (not necessarily female) culture, that thinks it has to be acceptive and nurturing. In reality it believes in the oneness of humanity to nature. That man belongs to the world. That we have become as smart as we are by being part of the world, and that being one with the world is being in harmony with the world and all its creatures. We have to be allowed to be imperfect, to be able to express how we want to express ourselves. Our laws are not about trying to be perfect, but about dealing with how to minimize the effect of one's actions to the rest of community if it is negative in any way. It's not about being peaceful, but fighting for survival, about fighting for waht you believe in, because that works for you adn your community.

These two are at one another's throats since the beginning, from one cycle to the next. The taker is more attached to materiality, the leaver more attached to spirituality. Where the taker is more about order, the leaver is more about chaos. If the taker were superego, leaver would be id, if taker Yang, then leaver would be Yin. They are both complementary and opposing to one another.

If anyone would like to be able to contribute their own stories based around this world based on whatever emotional state or state of thinking they link themselves with, then all could be added up together and made into a book that could be published, with all of our names on it. As long as you don't mind me saying somewhere in the book 'based on a story idea by Matthew Bowron'.

Would anyone like to collaborate and work on this with me?
Postings on any topic from a to z are allowed, as long as they can be fit into the idea of the story somewhere.

how to thread together the events of history 2: the big idea

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 03:35:24 GMT

Some people say history is cyclical, and so I've decided to have my nine stages become split into thirty six ten-page chapters, equalling to a total of 360 pages. Each chapter will become an object or artifact in the next chapter, going through not one cycle of history but four cycles, with the last chapter being the same as the first one.

So far i've got a plan that goes something like this

Chapter 1: beige: the civilization ends through a technological singularity which reverts all survivors back to the stone age.

Chapter 2: purple: this singularity is retold by the tribes that live in the new world as a great end of the world that was made by the gods

Chapter 3: red: this story of the gods punishing man is removed and replaced by the new kingdom's legends of mankind conquering nature

Chapter 4: blue: the stories of the truth of the heroes of the past is talked about by philosophers during the reign of a great nation

Chapter 5: orange: the philosophical ideas are released as the first printed novel by merchants whose rule has replaced the previous nation

Chapter 6: green: the mystical ideas of the past are re-established by modern thinkers in industrialised independent nations

Chapter 7: yellow: the mystic groups of industrialists are believed to be those who want to create a new world order

Chapter 8: turquoise: the ideas of the world being a repetition of history are reserved for academics

Chapter 9: coral: a new religion emerges that calls for a return to the ways of the past and a removal of the world government

Chapter 10: beige: the tribes in the world destroyed by singularity struggle to find food in the post-apocalyptic environment

Chapter 11: purple: artworks depicting the relationship between man and nature are created

Chapter 12: red: animal art worshipped in the past is replaced by images of heroes that are mixtures of man and beast, the first gods.

Chapter 13: blue: the artwork of the gods in the past is discovered to use mathematics that speak of mystical truths

Chapter 14: orange: this mystical mathematics is later re-studied by new academics during a period of enlightenment

Chapter 15: green: the enlightenment studies lead to revolutions by merchants and liberals against the ruling aristocrats

Chapter 16: yellow: the materialism consumerism of the revolted merchants is now the ruling norm

Chapter 17: turquoise: the artwork of marketing consumerism now loses all symbolism, any symbol can mean anything

Chapter 18: coral: there rises rebellion groups wearing meaningfless symbols that attempt to break down from inside the world government

Chapter 19: beige: people struggle finding shelter amidst the ruins of the old civilization destroyed by the rebels

Chapter 20: purple: the old worldview of the world as dangerous is questioned by the mystical tribesman

Chapter 21: red: it is this view of the world as helpful and united that is kept secret by the new artists of the new priesthood

Chapter 22: blue: art forms of fully human sculptures depict the ancient priests in the new nation

Chapter 23: orange: the buildings containing the sculptures is painted using perspective

Chapter 24: green: paintings of the artists painting buildings is shown as fragmented and disjointed in dadaist, or abstract art

Chapter 25: yellow: fragmented art is used by an atheist skeptic who tries to create more unitive ethical moral codes

Chapter 26: turquoise: these ethical moral codes are quoted as part of the plan of the new world government

Chapter 27: coral: the world government under attack attempts to create a long-lasting technological singularity project

Chapter 28: beige: the strong warriors struggling post-singularity fight over power over who shall become the first chief

Chapter 29: purple: the chiefs and warriors separate themselves from the early priesthood to establish their first kingdom

Chapter 30: red: the kingdom/empire separates into a period of independent nations

Chapter 31: blue: the monotheistic religion of the new nations is replaced by a growing form of rational scientific thinking

Chapter 32: orange: this scientific thinking leads to the beginning of maths suggesting more dimensions than generally agreed upon

Chapter 33: green: it is this knowledge of dimensions that leads to new forms of energy, creating powered megacities

Chapter 34: yellow: the mathematics expands upon its original writings by exploring the possibility of parallel universes and infinite energy

Chapter 35: turquoise: art forms expressing this infinite variety of choices in universes becomes merely another fashion to choose from

Chapter 36: coral: these virtual worlds of art are absorbed into the other dimensions that truely exist when the technological singularity occurs, leading the remainding survivors to go again on the journey of slow cultural evolution in peace

Connecting the strands of history.

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 07:30:28 GMT

I was thinking of writing a bunch of short stories that are linked inside one another to make up the story of the history of the world.

I keep wondering however how I'm gonna do it.

I could do it where the first story is recalled by the second and so on and so forth.

So far I have an idea that is a bit like this.

1) in beige, an immortal lives in the ancient ruins of a fallen age

2) purple remembers the story of beige, as they struggle in a tribe hunting the wild animals in the new jungles that have replaced the city

3) red recalls the story of purple as an orally told story told by a master of ancient history, who is currently waging war against other communities

4) blue recalls the war of red in a play that is performed by the actors of a medieval village, that is currently controlling people with its religion

5) orange recalls the history of blue in a book printed by merchants who are spreading their wares in colonies in new lands

6) green recalls the orange world as a televised history series as revolutions break out among the new-age populace to the aristocrats.

7) yellow recalls the revolutions of green in a webcast video that is spread as the world deals with massive consumerism in society

8) turquoise recalls yellow in a virtual world library that is interactive during the time of the formation of a world government

9) coral recalls turquoise as a memory download as the new emerging transhumans want to abandon the world to the populace with its new religion, and ultimately unleash a swarm of nanobots to destroy the civilization and return it to the inhabitants of the planet.

1) beige will recall coral as a series of dreams that floats embedded within the re-established natural environment.

degrees of character

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 02:39:40 GMT

As you know from my earlier notes, spiral dynamics of the nine stages also has a specific note of what happens to one's character or personality in each of these nine stages.

Briefly they are as follows:

1) beige - instinctive self

Here where we struggle for survival, we are guided by our instincts. We have basic ideas such as ownership and selfhood and express these in words such as "me" "mine" "i want" and "no"

2) purple - self-protective self

Here now living in a community, we feel we need to protect ourselves by basically understanding others to manipulate them to get what we want while at the same time not letting others know what we're feeling so they can't manipulate us. We still have to obey rules and try not to get punished at this level.

3) red - power based but conforming self

We want power at this level, we want to be respected and cared for, but in the face of other powers stronger than us, we feel we need to belong to them in order to exist. We speak kindly about them, and try to suppress our own feelings while doing what we are told. We often express our inner problems as being external to ourselves.

4) blue - conforming but also self-aware

Here we want to conform to the rules of the world, but we are also aware of our own individual self, and how we want to be respected for who we are as individuals. We think we have our ideas about how everything works and usually try to up-man others and ridicule others based on their own problems.

5) orange - individualistic and conscientious

We try to connect to others who feel like we do, as we want to build ourselves up, get goals done, and become successful in life. But we also want to get along well with others and make good decisions.

6) green - pluralistic and individualistic

We take in other perspectives at this time, seeing truth as subjective for each individual. Thus it is how we view things subjectively as individauls that are important to us, as this will affect not only ourselves but how we interact with others.

7) yellow - autonomous and integral

Here we integrate our different sides of ourselves, and become focussed on our own self-development and self-mastery.

8) turquoise - construct-aware and holistic

here we become aware that our ego has caused us to not connect fully with the world around us, and so we become aware of the different states of the world but ultimately see ourselves as still separate from that overall energy state that makes the world around us.

9) coral - unitive

here we see ourselves as on the threshold of new evolutionary energy, riding the wavefront of progress, being open to all experiences of life and feeling essentially one and eternal with the world around us.

levels of civilization

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 02:13:13 GMT

AS you know my story is also based around the idea of a cyclical civilization, where civilization rises and falls again due to its own problems, which are linked to the transcendantal nature of the climbing spirituality. Basically put it is the spirituality that allows people to co-exist with the cyclical rise and fall of civilization, while in the beginning they weren't co-existing with it, and thus created a civilization out of their need to exist with nature, which in itself became exhausted and falls apart because we're only human and don't know the way to create a perfect civiilziation.

THe story linked with the nine stages are as follows:

1) beige - no civilization

At this stage civilization of the past has collapsed. Survival bands exist that scavenge for food amongst the wreckage of the old civilization. They make shelters out of the wreckage and stay within the ruins of the old civilization to protect them from outside attackers. Those who are in power are those who survive the best, who fight for roles of power and who use the less powerful to do their bidding.

2) purple - tribal civilization

At this stage there is the development of a culture that has a belief in how the world came to be. This creates a way of expression that creates art forms that resemble the world of nature that has replaced the ruins of the old civilization. The idea of how the world is made up or how reality is becomes important. This leads to a split between those who are in power and who want to use this knowledge of reality for their own personal power, and those who want to find out this secret and share it with everyone.

3) red - early agricultural civilization

At this stage the spirits of the early religon get replaced by the heroes of those in power, who become the basic design of the power gods. This leads to a limit in the creation of nature-resembling artwork, leading to man-nature meldings. There is also a preservation of the study of the old culture through the priesthood and its knowledge of how reality is, which keeps people in power. Eventually these people in power become an aristocracy.

4) blue - nation based civilization

At this stage the spreading of agriculture and the creation of a merchant class, has allowed for those in power to think new ways about how the world is, through philosophy and mathematics for example. There is also the creation of art-work that truely depicts the human form. There is also the beginning of rational thinking replacing the mystical thinking of the religion at the time.

5) orange - capitalism spreading civilization

At this stage there is the power given to the people, with the gifts of rational religion. This leads to an increased study in the world of nature and the world of thinking. There is the creation of more intellectual forms of art, such as art that uses mathematics and science to depict a realistic world with its scientific concepts. There is also new mathematics that expands upon the earlier ideas, becoming more scientific rather than philosophical.

6) green - communalist spreading civilization

At this stage mystical thinking truths and scientific truths are later beginning to be accepted as both being truths in reality. There is the revolution of the thinking people against the power of the aristocracy, creating a more communalistic society. The artwork at this time begins to show the fragmentation of society as different groups attempt to rise to power now the aristocracy has been overthrown. With increased industrialisation, the cities become enormous and spirituality begins to be truely cast out and rejected, leading to problems in the populace regarding the meaning of life.

7) yellow - global civilization

At this stage the independent nations are now exchanging goods and services from one another. The world is now following a religion of materialism, where they think science and the rights of the individual are all that matter. There is the spread of ethics based on secular skeptical thinking at this time. Also there is the beginning of mathematics being based on purely rational skeptical thinking rather than scientific thinking.

8) turquoise - world government civilization

At this stage, philosophy about how the world came to be is merely seen as something academics study, and is of generally no importance. The nations at this time unite under a world government, that makes the world become a mixed population. The artwork at this time loses symbolism, where symbols are given the freedom to mean anything, making life seem absurd sometimes. Artwork now simply becomes a matter of fashion, where originality no longer exists and is simply a rehashing of earlier styles mixed in with modern styles or artificially constructed styles.

9) coral - collapse of world civilization

At this stage a new religion bursts forth from the very unspiritual world. This creates a rebellion against the world government, causing it and its lack of culture to crumble. The world government responds by trying to create a way to trap this rebellion in within its structure throguh teh creation of large artistic works, or buildings. But this merely makes the civilization one great bomb that detonates, destroying the world civilization, leaving it in ruins and the survivors to scavenge in the ruins once again. And so the cycle repeats itself.

Spirituality and the nine stages.

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:49:34 GMT

As some of you may or may not know I'm a Bahai, which believes that all religions come from god, and that each religion came at a certain period of time with a particular message for that time, bringing with it a new age of civilization for that time. I have thus decided to add those spiritual messengers or Manifestations to the story.

Here is a brief list of the spritual levels:

1) Beige - survival

Spirituality: Pantheism - here the senses based around survival are embedded completely with the world around them. People in this size view the world around them as merely an extension of their own psychology, meaning that the world around them is as alive as they are. While different to animism, in that specific things are given the qualities of souls or spirits, in this case, all things are part of one mind - ours.

2) Purple - animism

Spirituality: Animism - in this stage we think that specific objects have spirituality, that rocks, trees, deserts and places have spirits, including more importantly animals. It is here that the hunter is trying to link the power of the mind towards controlling animals around him so that he can hunt. Each person may summon on the power of an animal to help them live. The manifestation I link to this is probably Adam.

3) Red - power

Spirituality: Polytheism - in this stage there is a group of gods that are linked to specific areas of nature, such as god of the animals, god of the weather, god of the ocean, god of the earth, god of fertility, etc. These gods represent again a more separated generalized group of people, who in this case reference the power of nature in its various forms. Summoning one particular god to help one with problems based around the realm of power of that god is done. The manifestation I would link to this could be Noah, or maybe Abraham.

4) Blue - conformity

Spirituality: Monotheism - in this stage there is one god who has given laws and commandments with his prophets/manifestations. It is this god that demands overall obedience to his laws and rules, and love and sacrifice. It is this god that unites a nation-state under its wing and thus allows that civilization to be protected. Instead of there being a god of nature, this is a personal cultural-god, one god per group of people. The manifestation I would link to this would be: Moses and Jesus.

5) Orange - scientificism

Spirituality: Scientific spirituality - in this case the great one god is now seen as an architect of the universe itself, and is seen to be linked not only with separate religious belief but integrated to the natural sciences and study of the world around them. One such example is Allah of Islam, who talks about orbits of planets, layers of the earth, cloud types, river saltiness levels, and levels of development of the fetus, as well as the idea of the universe forming from smoke and being separated. This type of spirituality was also felt during the Renaissance by such scientists as Sir Isaac Newton. The manifestation I would link to this would be Muhammad.

6) Green - pluralism

Spirituality: Spiritual inclusivity - in this case there is the beginning of religions that attempt to unite all religions under one area. One such idea was deism, a religion formed during the later Enlightenment to replace all religion. There is also the beginning of unity between groups mentioned in religions such as the Sikth faith and the Bahai faith. The manifestation I would link to this would be either: Guru Nanak or Bahulluah.

7) Yellow - integral hierachy

Spirituality: Spiritual hierachy of development. It is here that we have the development of a spiritual hierachy of development, stages that are introduced to allow people to develop to new levels, where levels of thinking and feeling are introduced as levels necessary for the development of mankind. Such ideas may be the stages of Sri Aurobindo, later psychological ideas of Freud or Jung or Erikson. Some spiritual new age religions such as Scientology also use the idea of hierarchies such as the Eight Dynamics, and the Tone Scale. There are also other spiritual hierarchies such as in the ideas of the 8 circuits by Timothy Leary. Here the manifestation I would link to this would be L Ron Hubbard.

8) Turquoise - integral holarchy/holism

Spirituality: Spiritual community of different developments. In this case, there is the idea of each way of thinking being part of the body of creation. That there are different levels of development for all the parts of humanity, but that they each have their own part to play. Spiritualities I think that reference this is more like those of George Lucas with the universal force that creates both the dark and light forces, as well as the many different races of beings in the universe. Another example is in the Matrix films, where the machines, those in the matrix and those in zion are at different levels of development but each interact as one world. Manifestations I would link to this would be either George Lucas or the Wachowski Brothers.
There is also at this time the development of fractal like relationships of spirituality, like the ideas of NAssim Haramein.

9) Coral - integral oneness

Spirituality: Spiritual oneness with eternity. In this case one is meant to be one with the world of everything, one is part of the eternal universe and is forever connected to it. When one dies one lives on forever as part of the universe thus remaining in nirvana, while the world goes through its cycles of samsara. One example of this I believe is the unity shown in the film The Fountain by Darren Aaronofsky, where one can live forever in unity with the universe. Thus one doesn't have to be afraid of death and thus can enjoy life in all its forms. The manifestation I would link to this would be Darren Aaronofsky.

gah - need to organize notes

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:27:31 GMT

Okay, as many of you have gathered, I've been repeating posting my notes for my 9 story novel Namuh Htrae. I'd just like to mention that when I've even thought I've done enough, I realise I've later missed out on some ideas I wanted to include and now feel like I'm just going round and round in circles, stating the same ideas. So apologies to those who want to read my notes and find out what book I'm trying to write about. Anyway, I hope you can stay with me on this as I type out ideas, because I'm getting confused about what I want to write about, and when that happens... *shudder* let me just say I apologise if I'm reposting things people already know about. I just need to organize my thoughts, and right now they're scattered around the place. So apologies, and please stay tuned for our regular programming.

Genre # 2: Prehistoric

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:01:51 GMT

There have been a number of Prehistoric Romances such as Jean Auer's Earth Children series.

The Prehistoric genre normally relates to such things as the relationships of different groups of humanity in the early periods of history, and how such groups differ in their culture and style, eg the Earth Children series or such Prehistoric films such as 10,000 BC.

One idea of 10,000 BC is that there were previous civilizations that may have done such things as create the pyramids, or which may have been previously been remnants of an earlier collapsed civilization, one that "came from the stars" or "came from the great sea when their land disappeared beneath the waves".

One example I am using is that one such lost civilization may be a civilization like ours which tried to survive past the apocalypse. Some types may have tried to continue life via agriculture, and later may re-emerge as an early civilization, like one which may have built astrological temples such as pyramids to use to describe how to control and manage their agricultural civilization.

Storytelling #2: Oral tales

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 14:00:40 GMT

Here the world of language has come into being, allowing for sentences that can be lengthed into paragraphs, linking to tell stories.

The world of communicating being no longer simply through body language and signs and images.

Now we're in a world of words, where one's language may use different words to describe similar things.

For instance, "hide" and "skin", "blade" and "knife", "craft" and "skill", "sick" and "ill", "pig" or "pork", "deer" or "venison", "meal" or "dinner", "meat" or "beef", "sheep" or "mutton", "cow" or "cattle", "room" or "chamber", "love" or "like".

The use of adjectives, the ways of words turning towards the audience, or sayings being broken by bits of information.

Stories of animals, how they came to be as they are, stories of how people made up rules and writing, "Just So Stories".

Stories of hunts, or tales of how people did certain things, humourous events, tragic events, thrilling events, emotive events, angry rants, long winded explanations, lectures and talks, accents and conversation, dialogue and internal thinking.

Single perspective from one person, I, or third person perspective on other characters, going to second person to speak directly to the listener.

Character 2: The Self-Protective Hunter

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:47:42 GMT

Imagine now that no longer instead of scavenging for scraps, you now have clothing to keep you warm, tools to help you kill and training and support from others around you.

Now you are based around protecting yourself in this world.

Instead of being simply impulsive, you watch what you do in the world, because you could get into trouble and you want to avoid punishment.

You still want to do what you want to do though, and get what you want.

So you start to study other people, get to learn more about them and what they want to see if you can use them to get what you want.

But at the same time you don't want others to know what you want, so you hide your true intentions with a false face.

In this world it's you against them, anything bad happening being their fault.

You are only able to be allowed into the group if you know how to help add to the group.

You do respect rituals, doing the traditions of the tribe to appease them so that they let you live with them.

You want support and so by helping others hunt food you're supported by them.

Women however are still valued more and told to do certain jobs because women, mysterious as they are with their ways of carrying and birthing children, are the way in which the tribe survives.

In this world, it is a knowledge of how one can control nature that makes one able to live in this world.

And so you follow the tribe's rules although you want your own freedom.

Setting 2: Welcome to the Jungle

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:37:28 GMT

The world has recuperated after the fall of man. Vegetation has eaten through the cracks of the pavement, devoured roads, wrecks of automobiles, scaled and toppled skyscrapers, whose rubble became the new rocks trees would sprout from and grow. Rivers have returned as roads have fallen away and been worn away by time. The world of man however has changed much.

The world itself seems like a large breathing organism. With deserts breathing hot air, seas breathing cold air, trees breathing strong air, animals light air, men air that gives words, and the sun hot air as well, all this air, breath or spirit is seen as what possesses the world. There is this energy which makes up the world, some of which some people call the chi, the negative-positive energy of unity and difference, yin and yang. For others it is a world of spirit, a world of forms made from a universal consciousness, a god who dreams the world into being, we being made in the image of god, as we too have dreams. THe world itself and how it came to be may be a world now that came to be because of a race of giants who caused the world to be flooded, made bad because they ate the tree of knowledge, or were given the gift of fire from a firey messenger.

In all cases, this story leads to the power of spirit and the power of mind, which is a power many of the hunters that live in this world try to control. They control by going into caves, depriving their senses, and thus they have visions of lines, dots and patterns, seeking their animal that gives them power, which they will later paint on these caves in the light of a small flame. Others seek the early memories of mother, carving great feminine busts of disproportioned beauty. Others carve animals into their tools such as spear-throwers, shields and blades. Their painting of animals, of dreams and people is their way of trying to control what they want and desire inside, by painting it and controlling it outside of them, drawing also the beasts from within.

The mystical-metaphysical world of spirit makes one become aware of the world of dreams. In the world of dreams one is welcomed to the spiritual world, where if one can truly find one's connection to the world, they can perform miracles. In reality that trying to create miracles or magic is more difficult, but they can through belief and visualization, allow certain events to happen, and so through ritual invoking spirit, or praying or meditating or visualising, one can create things to happen in their everyday life and thus create a magic of their own.

It is this magic that is made that those in power want to use to make themselves more powerful, and so they the strong ruling ones try to separate from those who seek the answers to where the magic comes from, thus becoming the sole providers of magical knowledge, becomeing the first priests who use the magic for their own rise of power.

Genre # 1: Post-Apocalyptic

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 03:26:42 GMT

The Genre of this is Post-Apocalyptic, like in the style of old 1950s films about nuclear holocaust, only in this case nuclear holocaust isn't just the only concern, but is merely a side effect of a greater problem facing mankind: global warming.

As I haven't read many global warming based stories before, I thought I should do one on global warming, taking the worst case scenario of a total collapse of civilization, involving mega-storms, flooding, ice ages, droughts, resource scarcity, wars and even nuclear war, leading to a nuclear winter.

The whole story about any post-apocalyptic genre is about the survival of the people after the mega-disaster.

Usually post-apocalyptic goes into the culture of the time, where our culture is becoming the world of myth.

In this world the myths begin with the stories of the old culture being told in a story to the generation born after the collapse of civilization.

I was thinking of the story of an adult male and adult female surviving in this post-apocalyptic society, with the man's memories of how life was before the end of the world, and how he struggled to survive to this present point in time, where he's telling the stories in his way to the next generation.

One of the best post-apocalyptic stories that I know of is A Canticle for Leibowitz, which is based around a 1800 future history of a civilization's rise, peak and fall that emerges from the wreckage of the American-European civilization.

Basically what this section of the story is about is the transition from a post-modern civilization to a stone age culture.

Storytelling # 1: Memories

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 02:56:24 GMT

This story of the fall of man, of the struggle of survivors to live in these fallen cities, would be told by the only way that they can be remembered, by the memories of the individuals who survived.

Most paragraphs would describe one memory, beginning with a 'you see a...' or 'imagine a...'

The memories would be distorted with people trying to recall certain colours or shapes.

Some would appear larger than life, as certain images stick with some more than others.

Memories that are particularly traumatic may be stronger than some, or more well hidden or suppressed.

Imaginary characters would appear now and then.

Dreams would be recalled.

The world would have to be described in modern language, or else it will appear to be too vague for people to understand in a world that doesn't have language that we have now.

Audio and visual would dominate, while certain sensations would be strong as well, while smells themselves or tastes may be harder to describe.